


play my heart (like the strings of your violin)

by heyshawty



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Orchestra, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, and yangyang and hendery, but its mostly fluff, rated t because they're teenage boys and swear, red velvet's wendy is in there as a cameo, so is lucas, youth symphony au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25918099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyshawty/pseuds/heyshawty
Summary: The setting sun lights a ring of bronze and gold around Jaemin’s head, giving him an angelic glow. Jeno swears he can see a faint outline of a halo around the percussionist’s head. He’s literally iridescent, and Jeno nearly misses the cue to come back in. It’s as if time has stopped, and the only thing that matters is Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin. He looks...Jeno can’t find the right words to describe how pretty, how good, how right Jaemin looks at the moment.He catches Jeno’s eyes, and the pink-haired boy sends a questioning glance his way. Jeno only smiles and shakes his head gently. Don’t worry about it, he teasingly mouths. Jaemin narrows his eyes and sticks his tongue out in retaliation before returning his full attention back to the music in front of him.Ah. Jeno blinks.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, side markhyuck - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	play my heart (like the strings of your violin)

**Author's Note:**

> ahaha happy (very late) birthday jaemin !!! i wanted to get this Done before his birthday but i ended up procrastinating until literally the day before so here i am, posting this three days after his birthday. at least it’s still during jaemin week ? :')

Jeno pulls the strap of his violin case higher on his shoulder and easily passes Renjun, who is struggling to pull both his cello and suitcase onto the bus.

Smirking, Jeno slows down to talk to his friend, “Do you need some help?”

Renjun glares at him, “What do you think? Of course I do, get over here and help me.”

Laughing, Jeno pulls on Renjun’s suitcase and tugs it so the bus driver can put it safely in the compartment under the bus. Thanking the driver, Jeno scurries back onto the bus, where Renjun had successfully managed to wrestle his instrument to the back.

Jeno (carefully) shoves his violin case on top of the rack and collapses on the seat next to his friend. “Lucky bitch,” Renjun complains. “Your instrument is basically compact. Mine is almost like another person.”

“Could be worse,” Jeno shrugs, “you could play the viola.”

Here’s the thing: playing the violin is not as cool as everyone makes it to be. First, it’s way too damn competitive; second, the amount of stress on both the orchestra and the conductor during rehearsals can be rough; and third, it _hurts_. Fingertip calluses and violin “hickies” are often physical reminders of the struggles to practice. Plus, shoulder pain from the unnatural position constantly haunts Jeno in his sleep.

Objectively speaking, the violin, and every other string instrument in the orchestra, is really just a pile of wood connected together with four fickle strings that play notes. Occasionally, if Jeno’s lucky, the right notes will be played in tune. The difficulty and strife of playing the notes can be seen regularly. His cats often run far away from him whenever he brings out his instrument, and if that isn’t an indication to the quality of his intonation, then he doesn’t know what is. 

Despite all this, Jeno enjoys playing the violin. He’s a part of his city’s youth orchestra, which is composed of the best and most talented musicians in the city (or, that’s what the conductor says. Because while they’re good, they’re not _that_ good, and Jeno had once seen one of the seconds place his violin on his lap and attempt to play it like a cello, so). 

In his youth symphony program, there are two semesters that are roughly ten weeks each, and a concert is held at the end of each semester. Traditionally, before the start of the first semester, the musicians are invited to a music retreat out in practically the middle of nowhere for five (five!) days and no signal. No one had told him about the absence of Wi-Fi, and Jeno still mourns the loss of his three hundred day snap streak during the first retreat, back when he was naive and didn’t know any better.

Although the conductor had sent an email that said practicing before the retreat was optional (but highly suggested), practicing is definitely not an option if surviving is the goal. Yes, practicing can feel terrible most days but sight-reading and learning a new piece is even worse. In fact, during his freshman and sophomore years (again, when he was naive and didn’t know any better), Jeno didn’t even look at the music until the day of the retreat. This caused him to stumble over a good majority of the piece and nearly tear his music out of frustration. Moral of the story: practice the music.

Fast forward to two years later, where an experienced Jeno and Renjun are currently sitting on the bus on the way to the five day retreat. Renjun was relatively new to the whole orchestra/symphony business, but somehow managed to master his instrument faster than Jeno. This was only Renjun’s second year in the orchestra program, but he had already snagged the assistant principal spot. Wild.

Jeno takes out his double earbud adapter and pulls up a pre-downloaded Spiderman movie on his phone while Renjun opens his goddamn cooler bag full of fruits and other healthy snacks.

It’s almost as if Renjun can feel Jeno’s indignance, because he rolls his eyes and shoves a bag of watermelons labeled “Jeno c:” into his lap. “It’s from my mom, so eat up. She’s always complaining about how it looks like you’re not getting enough fruits so she insisted on this cooler of fruits. For you.”

Jeno accepts the plastic fork Renjun hands to him. “Well, tell Mama Huang I said thanks. I guess.”

Renjun waves him off and sets the cooler bag on his lap before reaching for the other earbuds. Jeno presses play on his phone, and the two boys become immersed in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

As the movie progresses, the view outside slowly turns from city to farmland to forest. The orchestra program emphasized “unplugging” from the outside world, so they decided to hold the retreat in a youth campground about a two hour drive away from the comfort of the city. Jeno doesn’t understand _why_ the conductor is so adamant on the removal of electronics at the retreat--it’s not as if they could check their phones while playing an instrument--but each to their own. 

The movie ends right as the bus turns into a secluded road. From afar, the road doesn’t seem like it’ll lead anywhere; however, a mile or two in, the trees clear and the road winds around a beautiful blue lake with a small island in the middle. 

“Maybe we can sneak down to the lake this year,” Renjun whispers, the artist in him causing the awe in his voice to jump out.

The bus continues down the path and follows it for about another mile before it turns into a circle drive with two short stone buildings facing a conglomerate jungle gym of sorts (no, really--there’s a small climbing wall, a balance beam, and a log attached by rope to two trees swinging in the slight breeze, notoriously dubbed the “floating log”). The same sight always greets them every year (besides Jeno’s first year, when the bus had gotten lost and forced them to walk around for half a mile) but the new kids chatter with excitement.

The bus finally stops, and the noise inside the bus increases ten-fold. They wait for the conductor to finish chatting with the bus driver before everyone scrambles to get off the bus. Jeno and Renjun wait for the chaos to settle down before even thinking about reaching for their respective instruments.

“Finally,” Renjun moans, and steps over Jeno to grab his cello from the back.

Jeno stands up and winces when he feels his joints pop in protest from being kept in the uncomfortable seated position. “Get used to it,” he mutters to himself. “You’ve got long hours of rehearsal waiting for you.”

He finally steps off the bus, violin in one hand and music stand in the other. After grabbing their suitcases from the bottom compartment, he and Renjun head towards the boys’ dorms.

“Maybe we’ll get to room together this year,” Renjun says dryly.

Jeno snorts. Doubtful.

♪♪♪

As expected, he and Renjun do not get to room together.

“Because the universe would just be too generous if we did, huh?” Renjun grumbles. “God, I don’t know anyone else here, not after all the seniors left last year. There are so many new faces, what the hell.”

Jeno only nods and briefly scans the faces of everyone standing in the lobby. He sees some people he recognized (he quickly waves at Donghyuck and Mark) but his gaze mainly breezes past everyone else. Two boys, one lanky and awkward and the other with cabbage green hair stand huddled next to each other in the corner. Other boys stand scattered around the room, waiting to receive their room assignments. 

“Holy sh—is that Jaemin Na?”

Jeno whips his head back to glance at Renjun, confused. The Chinese boy is pointing to a figure with dyed light pink hair about ten feet away, laughing with a carefree attitude with a boy he’s probably never met before today. 

Jeno’s eyes widen, “What the—I never expected him to be here, out of all places.”

Jaemin Na, also nicknamed the “golden boy of SM High,” was well-known at school for his charming personality and for being a star player of the basketball team. Although they weren’t really that close with each other, Jeno and Jaemin were on friendly terms and would sometimes acknowledge each other in the hallways. However, because of their different schedules and friend groups, they don’t really see each other often. They did share an AP Gov class once for about three days before Jeno said _fuck_ the government and decided to drop it. 

“Huh, I didn’t know Mr. Sportsman played an instrument. What do you think he plays?”

“Honestly?” Renjun fakes a retching noise. “Probably viola.” Jeno laughs and scrunches his nose in mock disgust. 

As if he’d heard their conversation (he was probably alerted by Renjun’s retching) Jaemin turns his head towards Jeno and Renjun. Surprise overcomes his features and he smiles apologetically at the boy next to him before making his way over to Jeno and Renjun.

“Why is he coming over here _Jeno why the fuck is–_ “

“Like hell I know,” Jeno hisses back at Renjun before planting a smile on his face.

“Renjun, Jeno! I didn’t know you guys played in the symphony!”

It’s too early for both Jeno and Renjun for someone to sound that alert. Jaemin’s bright personality makes Renjun wince slightly, especially after the long, arduous trip. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaemin, who sends the Chinese boy a questioning glance. Renjun just shrugs.

“Jet lag,” he laments.

Jaemin raises his eyebrows, “We sat in a bus for three hours? We didn’t even leave the state.”

Renjun waves his hand in dismissal, “Technicalities. Say, what room are you in?”

Jaemin fumbles with the little metal key he’d tied onto a string around his neck and squints at the little number engraved in it. “Uh, room five,” he looks up at Jeno and Renjun. “What about you guys?”

Renjun sighs, “Damn. I’m in room eight. Looks like I still need to socialize to find my roommates.”

Jeno snorts and flips his key around to look at his own room number. “Hey Jaemin, I think we’re sharing a room. I’m in room five too.”

The pink haired boy’s face lights up and he pumps his fist into the air. “Hell yeah! I was worried I’d have to share a room with people I didn’t know. I’m glad we’ve got each other.” He shoots Jeno a bright smile, one filled with straight teeth and sincere feelings and Jeno’s face flushes pink as he mumbles out an awkward “yeah.” Renjun snickers at Jeno and turns away when a death glare is pointed his way.

The conductor, new this year due to the retirement of the previous conductor, claps her hands to gain everyone’s attention.

“Welcome to this year’s youth symphony retreat! I’m super excited to be your new conductor. Our annual start-of-the-year meeting begins in about thirty minutes. Please get yourself situated in your rooms during this time. Remember to head over to the other building in thirty!”

Renjun stretches and tugs on the handle of his suitcase. “Well, I better go check out my room and find my roommates. Hopefully, I can actually stand them. See you guys in a little bit.” With that, he whips around and marches into the dorm hallway. Jaemin turns to look at Jeno, eyes full of mirth. “He’s feisty, isn’t he? I would never have expected that.”

Jeno just sighs, “I wouldn’t say feisty more than just plain dramatic. He doesn’t look like it, but he practically thrives on attention. If you ever get on his bad side, just pester him with his favorite foods and movies and he’ll usually forgive you within a few minutes.”

Jaemin snorts, “Noted.” He looks around the nearly empty lobby and points to the direction of the dorms. “Shall we go to our room and unpack now?”

♪♪♪

“So how long have you been playing in the youth symphony?”

It’s been five minutes since the two boys stumbled into their room and found it, surprisingly, void of any other life. Jeno had thought they would have been the last ones to walk into their dorm, but it seems that their other roommates had other plans (or friends).

Jeno scrunches his face, thinking about Jaemin’s question. “I think this would be my fourth year. I’m a bit surprised I’ve survived this long, but it’s the small mercies that count. How about you? How long have you been playing?”

Jaemin scratches his head, sheepish. “I...haven’t? I mean, this is my first year in a symphony of any sort. I play the drums and help out the school band by playing percussion every once in a while. The band director was actually the one that recommended me to audition, but I never thought that I’d actually be able to make it in.”

Jeno notices that Jaemin sounds genuinely surprised at the fact that he was here. He also seemed a bit...sentimental? In any case, it shocked Jeno that Mr. Practically-Good-At-Everything Jaemin Na was _surprised_ at being accepted into their city orchestra. Jeno smiles in what he hopes is an encouraging manner, “Well, I’m glad you’re here.”

Jaemin smiles back warmly. He opens his mouth to say something but a sharp rap on the door interrupts the two boys. Another boy, the tall lanky one that Jeno had seen in the lobby earlier, tentatively sticks his head in. “Is this room--oh _no_.” 

Previous sentence forgotten, Jaemin lights up in delight as pure fear reflects across the boy’s face. Jaemin is across the room in an instant, throwing his arms around the taller boy.

“Jisung!” Jaemin squeals, and is either ignorant to the other boy’s struggles or is purposely ignoring his strife as he squeezes the living daylights out of him.

Jeno raises a single eyebrow at Jaemin’s antics. The taller boy, Jisung, has given up on escaping from Jaemin’s affection and is gingerly patting the pink haired boy’s shoulder.

“He’s my neighbor,” Jaemin explains, and Jeno makes an “ahh” sound, as if he’d understood (he didn’t).

“Ok, ok, you can let the boy go now Jaemin,” Jeno practically pries the other off the poor kid. Jaemin pouts, but lets the kid go. Jisung shoots Jeno a grateful look before rolling his stuff to the bed furthest from Jaemin and starts unpacking.

The three boys unpack in relative silence, with the occasional upbeat humming coming from Jaemin. The room is simple, with smooth, white walls, and beige carpets. Two twin-sized beds and one bunk bed inhabit most of the space, and a small window sits square in the middle of the back wall. To the left of Jeno’s bed, there’s a door that leads to a small bathroom they share with the room next to theirs; it’s not much, but it’ll be enough for four boys for five days.

Speaking of their fourth roommate, the boy had crashed into the room with the energy of a typhoon about five minutes before they had to head over to the other building. Lucas was tall, and exuded the energy of a puppy meeting another person for the first time.

Jeno had never seen him in the orchestra before, but with the way he interacted with everyone in the room, Jeno knew he wouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable around him.

The annual meeting is about to start, and Jeno walks out of the room to look for Renjun before heading over to the other building. From the corner of his eye, Jeno sees Jaemin trailing behind Jisung for a little bit before he floats over to Mark and Donghyuck, before floating away once again to the guy he’d been speaking to earlier in the day. 

Jaemin is really something special. Jeno watches in awe as he bounces between different groups of people, yet somehow, he’s still able to hold the flow of conversation every time. 

The practice facility isn’t anything super special, but Jeno would definitely say it’s the area he’s most acquainted with. Large rooms occupy most of the building--one is the actual rehearsal room, the other is where they gather for meetings while they aren’t practicing. Several smaller rooms branch off the hallway--they use those whenever sectionals are scheduled.

The noise inside the building continues to rise as more and more people arrive. Jeno has to practically shove his ear next to Renjun’s mouth in order to hear anything his friend is saying.

Five minutes later, the new conductor makes her way to the front of the room and claps her hands twice to gather everyone’s attention. She’s petite in stature, and looks to be no more than 25 years old--a stark difference from the previous conductor, who looked like he was around even during the age of the dinosaurs.

“Hello everyone! Welcome to this year’s annual youth symphony summer retreat! My name is Wendy Son, but you can just call me Wendy--or Ms. Wendy, if you’d like. I’m so excited to be your conductor, and I hope we can create many great memories together.”

A few excited murmurs ripple through the crowd before Wendy gathers their attention once again.

“Before we truly get started this year, we do need to go over rules--”

A large chorus of groans fill up the room, and Wendy laughs into her hands. “I know you guys don’t like it, but it must be done.”

As Wendy rattles off several rules, Jeno lets his eyes wander at everyone seated around him. As Renjun had pointed out earlier, there truly were a lot of new faces around. When Jeno first started in his freshman year, there weren’t many musicians, but the group made up for it in skill. He remembers being very captivated by the way the concertmaster had played, so much that he’d immediately practiced for two hours straight when he went home (his parents, surprised but pleased, decided not to mention anything just in case it would disrupt his flow).

This year though. Looking around the room, Jeno thinks there’s probably around a hundred people--almost the size of a professional symphony. The air in the room buzzes with excitement, and Jeno has to say he definitely understands why.

He accidentally makes eye contact with Jaemin, and awkwardly smiles when Jaemin enthusiastically waves at him. He’s not sure if he’s ever going to get used to seeing Jaemin at symphony rehearsal from here on out. Jeno tunes back into Wendy’s spiel right as she’s closing up the last of the rules.

“And finally,” Wendy says, voice somber, “going to the lake after dark is strictly prohibited. Anyone caught violating these rules will be punished accordingly.”

Renjun shifts uncomfortably and Jeno turns to whisper, “Still thinking about sneaking out?”  
  
“Fuck off,” Renjun hisses back, and Jeno quietly laughs.

Wendy clears her throat to start talking again. “We’ve decided to change things up a little this year. Playing in a symphony is like being in a team sport. Everyone needs to connect with each other to keep the balance and flow. This retreat was supposed to be a time where we all relaxed and got to know each other, but the purpose somehow changed to pure practice. I’d like to bring back some aspects of the old retreat, and spend our time today getting comfortable with the people in your section and in the entire symphony.”

“Please don’t say we’re doing icebreaker games,” Renjun mutters, and Jeno bites his lip to contain his laughter when Wendy proclaims they are, in fact, doing icebreaker games.

They split off here, where Renjun goes to find his place with the cellists, and Jeno goes to find his fellow first violinists. 

The next two hours are very relaxing, and (dare he say it) fun. Even Renjun, who looked like he had wanted to bolt the moment the games began, looked like he was having the time of his life. Wendy was right--the previous retreats were very cutthroat and felt almost militaristic. To be able to be laughing alongside his fellow musicians is something Jeno didn’t know he needed.

“I like this new conductor,” Renjun confides to him afterward, as they’re walking to dinner. Jeno wisely decides not to bring up Renjun’s earlier complaints, and agrees with his friend’s statement.

Although the campground area isn’t big, the dining hall just so happens to be the furthest building away from their dorms and rehearsal area. It rests at the base of a hill overlooking the beautiful blue span of water known as the Forbidden Lake. Renjun and Jeno walk down the curving path, stomachs growling over the excitement of the past few hours. As they get closer to the lake, Jeno hears the awed whispers of the new members around him.

“Just you wait,” Renjun murmurs to the sparkling blue waters. “I’ll go to you soon.”

As usual, the canteen is super crowded when they arrive. On top of their youth symphony, the campgrounds also hold many other groups that use the same facilities. Jeno and Renjun have to fight their way through the line and wander around the hall for five minutes before finding an empty table. 

“Mind if I sit here with you guys?”

It’s Jaemin. He smiles and gestures towards the empty chairs next to Jeno and Renjun, who shrug and pull a chair out for him.

A few moments later, Mark and Donghyuck amble their way over to the table as well. Jaemin’s hawk eyes scan the dining hall before he finally locks onto his targets--Jisung and the boy with cabbage green hair from earlier. 

“Oh, hey, Chenle,” Renjun greets when they sit down, and Chenle bobs his head up and down in acknowledgement. 

Dinner is--exciting. Jeno learns a lot about the people he’d been in a symphony with for the past three years. In previous years, Jeno and Renjun didn’t branch out much, and ate all their meals by themselves. It wasn’t bad, but it definitely felt like they were missing out.

Now, with everyone at the table, he laughs at Donghyuck’s quick wit and Chenle’s stories. Jeno also finds that he and Jaemin have much more in common that he thought, and they connect with each other really easily.

In the company of his friends, Jaemin really seems to glow. Jeno wonders how he got so close with everyone.

Renjun seems to be having the same train of thought because he asks, “Hold up, Jaemin, how do you know everyone here?”

Jaemin grins. “Oh! Mark and I have actually been friends since seventh grade, and I met Donghyuck through Mark. Jisung and Chenle have been best friends since forever, and I’ve been neighbors with Jisung since forever as well.”

Jeno thinks he sees a flash of sadness behind Jaemin’s smile, but it disappears right as he blinks.

It rains that night, so they can’t go out anywhere during their downtime. However, Donghyuck had brought a card deck with him, so they all squish into his room and play a modified version of mafia. Jeno finds that Jaemin is extremely bad at pretending to be innocent, while Renjun and Chenle are suspiciously good at it. 

When the adults finally come banging on their door telling them to wrap it up, Jeno's face hurts from smiling too much. In their room, Jaemin teases Jisung for sleeping so early (“like a baby!”), and Jeno laughs harder when Jisung chucks a pillow right at Jaemin’s face.

 _Yeah_ , he thinks as he finally succumbs to exhaustion. _This’ll be fun._

♪♪♪

The first rehearsal starts bright and early the next morning.

At seven o’clock in the morning, Jeno drags himself out of bed to give himself enough time to eat breakfast before their rehearsal at eight. Jaemin is already up and changed, and he snickers when Jeno accidentally runs into their bathroom door due to his lack of coordination.

They drag Jisung out of his bed, then wait for their other friends in the lobby. They end up having to run down to the dining hall and shovel food in their mouths because Renjun decided to wake up late _and_ take a million years to get ready. 

They end up rolling up to the rehearsal room five minutes before eight. Jeno finds his spot in his section and takes a deep breath.

Usually, the first day is the hardest. If his previous years were anything to go off of, it’ll take Jeno about three hours before he gets accustomed to the atmosphere, the pieces, and his stand partner (freshman year, his stand partner liked to use wide bow movements. At that time, Jeno sat on the inside of the section. Yeah, ouch).

This year, however, Jeno doesn’t find the dread bubbling inside him. He feels relaxed as he opens his music binder. His stand partner was someone he vaguely recognized from the previous year, and he’s glad to remember she isn’t the type to unconsciously stab her stand partner. In addition, Jeno flies through the pieces during warm-up, his fingers already accustomed to the feeling of the strings underneath them. Perhaps he’s just gotten older and more experienced, but the notes on the page don’t quite look as daunting to him. 

Then he flips the pages over to Section 17 of Gustav Holst’s Jupiter, and immediately regrets saying anything.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and squeezes his eyes shut to send prayers up to whatever deities may be listening. 

Morning rehearsal always feels long, especially since it’s their first full day. They start with full run-throughs, and Wendy stops to take notes every time she thinks they need extra help--which is often. 

“Don’t get frustrated everyone!” She chirps brightly. “Remember, it’s only the first day of the retreat. We still have two days after this _and_ ten weeks until the concert!”

As expected, her statement is met with very mixed responses. Jeno laughs at the face Renjun pulls behind Wendy’s back.

Despite his complaints, however, Renjun looks right at home while playing the cello. His body sways when the cellos have the melody, and he cues the rest of his section alongside the principal cellist after long sections of rests. He looks like he was born to play the cello, and that’s been something he’s admired about Renjun for a while. 

In between passages, Jeno’s eyes wander over to his other friends and find varying states of comfort. Mark and Donghyuck, the other veterans, look pretty relaxed, even as they repeatedly play through the first movement of the Pines of Rome. Jeno’s impressed with Mark’s ability to consistently play difficult runs on his flute and Donghyuck’s musicality on his viola. 

Jaemin seems to be holding pretty well. His face scrunches in concentration as he watches Wendy for cues, his hands moving diligently between the different instruments. He looks confident, completely contrasting the nervous energy he’d exuded the previous morning.

At midday, the symphony splits for about two hours to hold sectionals. Jeno can say he hates sectionals with absolute certainty because their sectional coach seemed to think he was teaching five year olds, and not high school students that had been playing for several years.

“The rhythm sounds like this guys,” he says, then continues to count the simplest rhythm for them in a series of beeps.

Jeno nearly cries. 

When dinner finally rolls around, Jeno feels so hungry he feels like he could eat enough for an army.

“It’s only been a day and I’m already over it.” Renjun deadpans.

“Tell me about it,” Jeno sighs. “I don’t know how we manage to survive every year.”

“It’s the breaks, I’m telling you.” 

Nodding in agreement, Jeno finally wrestles his violin case shut, and he and Renjun walk out to wait for the others.

Jaemin bounces out of the doors first and Jeno--Jeno stops. Renjun’s conversation dies away in his ears, and all he sees is the sunlight hitting Jaemin just right. _He’s pretty_ , Jeno thinks.

The illusion is shattered when Renjun nudges him, concern laced on his face. “You good?” he asks, and Jeno nods.

“Yeah, I’m just--tired.” He rubs at his eyes, trying to shake his thoughts out of his head. Why did he suddenly think that? Maybe Jeno is just sleep-deprived. He makes a mental note to go to bed earlier tonight.

(Spoiler alert: he does not get to go to bed early. Chenle and Jisung wanted to try out everything in the conglomerate jungle gym, and Jaemin drags him out to try it out as well. He tries not to think about why he’s unable to say no to Jaemin.)

♪♪♪

The second day of rehearsal is considerably the easiest.

Notes and new additions from the previous day are still fresh in their minds, and Jeno finally nails a passage he’d been having trouble with all through his individual practice and yesterday’s group rehearsal.

The concertmaster plays her solo for the first time as well, and Wendy praises her tone. 

“But,” she says, “don’t be afraid to switch it up and try something new! Play around with the dynamics and tempos.” She smiles. “It’ll be scary at first, but I promise you the results will be worth it all.”

Rehearsal drags on. They hold another round of sectionals, and Jeno cries at having to spend another hour and thirty minutes with Mr. Beep Beep. 

On the bright side, they are slowly (but surely) improving. They’d been hitting at a few of Wendy’s trouble spots, and with each play-through of the section, it sounds less like someone slapped random instruments together and more like actual music. 

Jeno grins at the palpable improvement, even as Wendy makes them repeat their runs for the eighth time. 

_The grind never stops_ , Jaemin mouths playfully, and Jeno tries to ignore the way his heart flips in his chest.

♪♪♪

The seven of them are lying around in Renjun, Donghyuck, Mark and Chenle’s room when inspiration strikes. 

“Hey,” Donghyuck suddenly shoots up in his bed. “Let’s go down to the lake.”

“Weren’t we warned to not go down there?” Jisung’s eyes widen, and Chenle enthusiastically bobs his head up and down. “Yeah! Didn’t Ms. Wendy tell us about the girl that disappeared when she was here?”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “You guys are so naive. If someone actually disappeared, they would have cancelled this entire trip years ago, yet here we are. Besides, she told us later that the girl just walked out to a convenience store about twenty minutes away.”

There’s a clear air of unease covering the room and Mark, Jisung, and Chenle all look nervously at each other. 

“I don’t know, Hyuck,” Mark mutters, “It is kind of late. And dark. And we were told it was strictly prohibited.”

Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Donghyuck shouts, “Oh, come on, live a little! We won’t get caught unless we’re super reckless--which we are not going to be. We have our phones with flashlights! The lake is a fifteen-minute walk at most! What’s the worst thing that could happen? Don’t answer that,” he points at Chenle, who promptly shuts his mouth, list of possible devastating events fading away on his tongue.

“Besides, it’s not even _that_ late right now. We still have an hour and a half until lights out and room checks. That’s more than enough time to go and explore!”

“He has a point,” Renjun says. The others turn their apprehensive gazes to the Chinese boy, who looks like he could care less. Jeno suppresses his grin, knowing his friend has been dying to see the lake ever since he started coming to the retreats two years ago. Renjun shrugs, “I mean, have you guys seen the lake? It’s beautiful. This might be our only time to go check it out.”

Chenle, Mark, and Jisung all clamor to argue against Renjun and Donghyuck, who heatedly argue right back. The volume slowly starts to rise, and Jeno prays none of the chaperones pop in to shut them up.

Jeno is just about to attempt to be the voice of reason when he feels Jaemin nudge his arm. He turns his attention to the other boy instead, who points at his phone. 

It buzzes with a text. _What do you think? Should we go or not?_

 _I don’t mind._ Jeno types back, _but Donghyuck and Renjun are two of the most stubborn people I know. We’ll all end up at the lake tonight somehow, even if Hyuck and Jun have to drag all of us kicking and screaming._

Jaemin lets out a snort which, unfortunately, alerts everyone’s attention to the two in the corner.

“Jeno, Jaemin,” Renjun starts slyly. “You two have been suspiciously quiet the entire time. What do you think we should do?”

 _Caught_ , Jaemin mouths, and Jeno chuckles silently as the other turns back to face Renjun’s expectant face.

“Sorry Jisung, but I’m going to have to agree with Donghyuck and Renjun. I don’t see the harm, as long as we get back on time and no one is left behind, right?”

“Yes mom,” Donghyuck mutters, and winks when Jaemin throws him a stink eye.

Standing up, Renjun stretches his limbs as he points at the door. “Well, what are we waiting for, then? Let’s go!”

♪♪♪

With his hands in his pockets, Jeno waits for everyone else outside the building. Right after the final decision had been made, there was a mad scramble to find necessities for the trek. Jeno, after deciding he didn’t need much more than his phone and a hoodie, 

The door swings open, and Mark steps out. Jeno waves at him, and the older boy makes his way over.

“Hey,” he says. Jeno offers a small smile in response.

Despite being schoolmates and having hung out in the same group for the past three days, Jeno hasn’t had many individual interactions with Mark. He knows the other is a year older, and that he and Donghyuck had been dating for a long time. He also seemed to be someone Jaemin trusted a lot. It made sense though; Mark was dependable, responsible. A shoulder to cry on during the darkest days. 

“So,” Mark shifts awkwardly from side to side, his eyes darting everywhere but Jeno’s face, “I’ve noticed you and Jaemin have been awfully...close lately.”

For some unknown reason, Jeno feels his heart sink at Mark’s words. _But is the reason really unknown?_ His inner self chides.

 _Shut up_ , he prompts himself, before shoving those thoughts and any further inner monologue to the back of his mind. Letting out a shaky breath, Jeno turns his head to face Mark, “We have. Is there something wrong?”

Mark quickly shakes his head, waving his hands in front of his face. “Oh, no no. I just realized that sounded like I was reprimanding you, or scolding you. God, no, there’s nothing wrong with your closeness with Jaemin.”

“Actually,” here, Mark pauses, and shifts his body ever so slightly to face Jeno. The older’s large brown eyes furrow, and he purses his lips ever so slightly, “This is the fastest I’ve seen Jaemin warm up to someone.”

Jeno feels a rush of heat flood his system as he quickly snaps his gaze away from Mark’s questioning eyes. “That’s impossible, he’s friendly with everyone.”

“Friendly, yes, but I haven’t seen Jaemin this _relaxed_ with anyone, ever.” Mark toes at the ground, accidentally upsetting a mound of dirt. “You see it, don’t you?”

Jeno bites his lip, keeping his gaze strong at the ground because, yes, Jeno _does_ see it, no matter how much he tries to pretend he doesn’t. Like he’d said, Jaemin was friendly, but it all seemed like it was on a superficial level. His smiles seemed a bit guarded and he never laughed as loudly or as brightly. Jeno doesn’t want to think about the implications of Mark’s words.

Luckily, Donghyuck and Jaemin stumble out of the doors just then, and Mark wisely shuts his mouth. He does, however, shoot Jeno a pointed look when Jaemin immediately attaches himself to Jeno’s side. 

Jeno shoves the bubbling thoughts back down again. Mentally kicks them for good measure.

It takes Chenle and Jisung a few more minutes until they’re walking out of the building as well, with Renjun close behind them, squabbling about God knows what. Renjun’s hauling a huge backpack over his shoulders, but brushes off any inquiries about the bag’s contents. Donghyuck teases them about being the slowest (“like babies!”) and the seven of them set off.

They walk down the winding road towards the dining hall, everyone trembling from either excitement or nerves. It’s only luck that they don’t encounter any chaperones (they liked to take late-night walks) or any other people from their symphony that could tattle on them.

As soon as the seven of them reach the lake, Donghyuck lets out a piercing war cry and quickly shucks off his shoes before running straight into the water. The rest of them look at each other in slight shock before Chenle shrugs and takes off towards the lake as well. 

It doesn’t take long before the rest of them follow suit. Jeno, however, decides to stay right on the shore, shaking his head at Jaemin’s outstretched hand.

“Someone has to watch all your stuff,” he jokes, and Jaemin pouts in retaliation.

“You’re such a prude.” 

Jeno laughs and shoves Jaemin towards the rest of their friends. The pink-haired boy sticks his tongue out before scampering into the water.

Someone sidles up next to him, and Jeno feels something nudge his arm. He turns his head to see Renjun looking up at him. “Hey stranger,” he says, in lieu of a greeting. Jeno points at the lake, “You’re not going to join them?”

Renjun huffs, “Me? Join those barbarians? And ruin the pristine lake? You’re kidding, right?”

Chenle’s squeals fill the air as both Jisung and Jaemin take turns splashing him with the lake water. Donghyuck stands off to the side, avoiding the spray of the water but egging Jaemin and Jisung on, nonetheless. On the other side, Mark flaps his arms around like he’s trying to maintain peace before Donghyuck shouts, “Stop pretending to be mature!” and soon enough, he’s roped into the water battle too.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to talk to you, alone.” Renjun says suddenly.

Jeno sharply sucks in a breath of air. He wants to shy away from Renjun’s piercing gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and Renjun shoots him a confused look.

“What the hell are you apologizing for?”

Jeno purses his lips, “Aren’t you angry? That I haven’t been spending a lot of time with you?”

Renjun is silent for a few seconds before he reaches down to scoop a handful of sand. Jeno only has time to realize what’s about to happen before a pile of sand is thrown his way.

He yelps and is just barely able to save his face from getting an exfoliating session. “What was that for?” He shakes the excess sand out of his hair, spitting some stray grains out that fell into his mouth.

“That was quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard you say, and you say a lot of dumb things on a daily basis.”

Jeno pulls a wounded face as Renjun sighs. “You’re too selfless for your own good sometimes. You can have good things too, you know.”

As if attracted by a magnet, Jeno’s eyes wander over to Jaemin, who is currently clinging on Chenle’s back. His head is thrown back in glee, and the way the moonlight shines across Jaemin’s face makes him look like he’s been covered in silver.

Jeno looks away just as Jaemin turns to face the shore.

Renjun sighs again, and softly pats Jeno’s shoulder. “You’re good for each other, alright? Don’t overthink it too much.” He smirks before adding on, “You don’t have many brain cells to think in general; save them for our last practice this week.”

This time, Renjun yelps as Jeno kicks up a mound of sand at him.

The breeze around them picks up a bit, and Jeno shivers as he rubs his hands over his arms to keep warm. Checking the time, he notices (with a bit of alarm) that the time is nearing half past ten. The walk back is still fifteen minutes, and Jeno fears being caught by the chaperones or Wendy (because while she looked very pleasant most of the time, Jeno had an inkling that Wendy could be terrifying if she got mad). He yells out the time to his friends in the water, and Jisung gets dunked underwater one last time before they shout back words of acknowledgement.

From the safety of the shores, Jeno raises his eyebrow, amused at his friends. “Do they realize none of us brought towels for them to dry off in?”

Renjun sighs, loud and dramatic, and finally throws the backpack off his shoulders. Peering curiously over his friend’s shoulders, Jeno watches as Renjun pulls out _three_ full size towels.

“Renjun Huang, you really are something else,” he whispers in awe.

“Damn right.” Renjun swells a bit with pride, especially when the others come out of the lake a few seconds later, all drenched from head to toe.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a lifesaver,” Donghyuck sighs as he wraps himself in one of the fluffy towels. He lifts the corner of the towel, letting Mark in his embrace as the two share a towel. Chenle nabs a towel for himself and Jaemin looks all too happy to share his towel with his self-proclaimed child. 

“Yeah, a few times. But it doesn’t hurt to hear it again,” Renjun grins, and shoulders on the now-empty backpack.

When they finally get back to the dorm building, Jeno and Renjun, being the ones that look the least suspicious and aren’t dripping wet, are sent in first to check for nosy chaperones. Luck must’ve been on their side, because no one is in the lobby other than a pair of freshmen cellists currently battling it out on the ping pong table. Renjun waves at them and mimes zipping his mouth before ushering their soaking wet friends into the building. 

As soon as everyone makes it back into Mark and Donghyuck’s room, they all collapse into laughter.

“Renjun, I think you scared those freshmen to death,” Donghyuck wheezes.

“Did not!”

“You so did. They were definitely shaking like a leaf when we walked past.”

“Oh shut up,” Renjun flushes, but he’s smiling, hard. 

Later that night, as Jeno lies in bed, he thinks about the conversations he had with both Mark and Renjun. 

The good things, Renjun had said. Jeno flips over and stares at Jaemin’s figure on his bed, the other’s chest rising and falling in slow, even intervals. Both Renjun and Mark had hinted at Jaemin being a possible source of his happiness, and vice versa. Jeno sighs quietly, thinking about the past two days. He and Jaemin really connected in a way he hadn’t expected before, in a way that he’d only ever connected with one other person--Renjun. 

_Although_ Jeno thinks as he smiles softly to shift back to face the wall once again, _this could be greater than his bond with Renjun._

He finds himself liking that idea as his eyes finally shut close for the day.

♪♪♪

The final day of official rehearsal goes smoothly, despite everyone’s obvious excitement at being almost finished. They do have to stop a few times to recollect themselves, much to Wendy’s chagrin.

Jeno doesn’t know how to feel. He felt as if each day passed by too quickly. Although there’s probably an indent in his seat from sitting there for so long, Jeno really feels like these past few days were the best days he’s ever had.

On the bright side, sectionals were over so Jeno doesn’t have to deal with slightly condescending sectional coaches.

However, Jeno begins to worry for Jaemin. He notices Jaemin acting more...muted during the day, and catches him frowning down at his phone right before evening rehearsal. However, he gets shut down as soon as he picks up the courage to ask.

“You always worry so much, aren’t you afraid you’ll get wrinkles at thirty?”

Jeno (gently) shoves the other, and Jaemin laughs as he skips away.

More sections of their pieces connect together. The concertmaster gives her solo another shot--this time, slowing down just slightly before the music reaches the swell. Wendy listens with a proud smile, and Jeno sits astounded at the difference that little extra addition made.

Wendy starts another run-through of a section Jeno doesn’t play in, and his eyes immediately gravitate towards Jaemin. For what seems like the thousandth time, Jeno is rendered speechless.

The setting sun lights a ring of bronze and gold around Jaemin’s head, giving him an angelic glow. Jeno swears he can see a faint outline of a halo around the percussionist’s head. He’s literally iridescent, and Jeno nearly misses the cue to come back in. It’s as if time has stopped, and the only thing that matters is Jaemin, Jaemin, _Jaemin_ . He looks...Jeno can’t find the right words to describe how pretty, how good, how _right_ Jaemin looks at the moment. 

He catches Jeno’s eyes, and the pink-haired boy sends a questioning glance his way. Jeno only smiles and shakes his head gently. _Don’t worry about it_ , he teasingly mouths. Jaemin narrows his eyes and sticks his tongue out in retaliation before returning his full attention back to the music in front of him. 

_Ah_ , Jeno blinks. So that’s what Mark and Renjun had been alluding towards.

With the last piece of the puzzle, Jeno stops repressing his thoughts. He’s ready to admit he’s fallen for Jaemin. 

Jeno takes a quick look at the cello section, and Renjun is smiling smugly while looking between him and Jaemin. Of course he’s figured it out already. Jeno rolls his eyes at his best friend’s shit-eating grin, and Renjun mouths the words “tell him.”

He shakes his head, terrified. _He’ll hate me_.

 _Trust me_ , Renjun raises his eyebrows. _He definitely won’t hate you_. Jeno sighs in resignation, 

But, after rehearsal, when Jeno’s put his violin safely away, Jaemin is nowhere to be seen. He frowns, confused and a little disappointed. Jaemin always waited for Jeno after rehearsal, which is what made his absence so strange.

“Don’t worry,” Renjun mutters. “He’s probably back at the dorms already.”

Sure enough, they end up running into Jaemin just as he was exiting the dorm building.

He takes in both of their presences as Jeno’s face lights up, “Hey, could I talk to you really quick?”

“Um,” Jaemin’s eyes flit around, a bit distractedly, “Not--not right now. Sorry, I--” he manages to stammer out before he pushes past Jeno and runs out the door.

Jeno watches, a little hurt, as Jaemin rushes off. Renjun’s gaze flickers back and forth between the two of them like he knows something Jeno doesn’t, and he places a comforting hand on Jeno’s shoulder. “It’ll be alright. Give him some space for now, then talk to him later.”

Sending one last glance out the doors Jaemin left from, Jeno sighs and turns away. “You’re right.”

Renjun offers him a small smile, “When am I not? Now come on, we’ve got games of ping pong to play.”

♪♪♪

Seven rounds and three lost balls later, Renjun is crowned the victor between him, Jisung, and Jeno. Mark and Donghyuck had been spectators for a while at first, before they decided to scamper outside to God knows where. Chenle was in his room for the first few games, but eventually came out to the lobby to cheer on whoever was winning at the time. Jeno hadn’t seen Lucas in a while, but he would guess that his tall roommate was probably hanging out with the oboist and clarinetist he’d seen earlier (Henry? Hendery? And Yangyang? Jeno doesn’t really remember their names). 

Once more, Jeno scans the small circle of people around the ping pong table and the other people in the room, looking for a familiar head of pink hair. Jaemin hasn’t been seen by any of their friends after the evening rehearsal. He still wasn’t in their shared room when Jeno went back to check, and he wasn’t standing around in the lobby either. A small wave of disappointment rushes through his system, but Jeno mentally scolds himself for being childish. He knew Jaemin wasn’t intentionally avoiding him, but he’d seemed off the entire evening, and Jeno wanted to make sure he was all right.

Someone jabs an elbow into his sides, and Jeno hisses in surprise when he sees Chenle, grinning and holding up a ping pong paddle.

“Jeno, let’s play!” Chenle shouts.

Jeno smiles wryly, but shakes his head. “I’m good for now; I think I’ve had enough ping pong today. You should play with Renjun though, and kick his ass.”

A ball is hurled at his head, courtesy of Renjun, and Jeno dodges the speeding mass of celluloid while he laughs at his friend’s annoyance. Chenle uses Renjun’s distracted state to his advantage and immediately serves a ball over the net to score a point.

Exasperated rapid-fire Chinese is the last thing Jeno hears before stepping outside to meet the warm summer night. 

Jeno has always liked nights like these. It’s balmy, but not too humid that the air is unbearable. The moon is high, and there are no clouds obscuring the stars as they shine brightly against the dark indigo sky.

Jeno’s still scanning for the tuft of pink hair that he hasn’t seen at all after rehearsal. Turning on his flashlight app, he walks around the campground, carefully avoiding the tree roots and other hazards lying on the ground.

He doesn’t find Jaemin right away and runs into Mark and Donghyuck first, who are talking quietly while sitting on the “floating log.” Mark is laughing at something Donghyuck is saying when Jeno makes his way over to them. Squinting at Jeno’s approaching figure, Mark waves him over.

“Jeno, what’s up? What are you looking for?” The older boy asks.

“Or, better yet, who?” His younger boyfriend cuts in. Mark hisses a quiet warning, but Donghyuck just ignores him. He pulls Jeno closer to them and pats the space in between the couple, motioning for the boy to hop on the log with them. Jeno chuckles at Mark’s pained face at Donghyuck’s wordless suggestion and shakes his head, declining his friend’s offer, eyes still scanning the dark campground for other familiar figures. 

“He’s over there, by the campfire.” Donghyuck says, softly, after a beat too long of silence. Jeno looks to where his friend’s finger is pointing, and he sees the faint glowing embers of a fire. A few silhouettes are illuminated by the fire, and Jeno can see the build of Jaemin’s back. He’s oddly still, and he doesn’t seem to be engaging in the conversations around him, like he usually would.

Jeno turns to Mark and Donghyuck and thanks both of them. Mark smiles kindly at him, “Don’t thank us, go talk to Jaemin.”

Waving goodbye to his friends, Jeno gathers his courage to go talk to Jaemin. As an afterthought, he tells them to get inside and play against the ping pong tyrant Renjun. Donghyuck is off the log in an instant, and makes a beeline for the lobby shouting, “No one wins more than three straight ping pong games on my watch!” Mark sighs fondly and jumps off the log a few seconds later, following his boyfriend back into the dorm building. 

Jeno chuckles softly to himself before stumbling through the trees to Jaemin.

He’s staring straight at the fire, or at a point past the fire with his hands tucked underneath his legs. Jeno quietly makes his way to the other boy, who seems to be deep in thought. He doesn’t even notice when Jeno slides next to him. 

“Hey,” he whispers, and Jaemin shifts his head slightly to meet his eyes.

“Hey yourself,” Jaemin whispers back before returning his gaze to the fire.

Silence falls between the two boys, but it’s warm and comfortable rather than awkward and stiff. Even though it’s only been three days since Jeno has really gotten to know Jaemin, he’s found that it’s never uncomfortable when they’re around each other. The fire embers crackle and pop as the flames dance across the logs. There’s a slight breeze that blows by, but it does nothing to chill the balmy, summery air around the boys. Jeno can hear the faint shouts of Donghyuck, Renjun and Jisung with a bit of Chenle’s laugh permeating in between as they start another intense round of table tennis. 

Jaemin sighs, long and deep and Jeno turns his head to look at the other boy. He seems troubled, almost. Several different emotions flicker across his face as he lifts his head to stare straight at Jeno. Among those emotions, comfort settles across Jaemin’s pretty features.

 _Ethereal_ , Jeno realizes. _That’s_ how he’d looked earlier in the band room. 

“Do you ever think about how small and insignificant we are in this world?”

Jeno balks at Jaemin’s sudden question. He knows it’s rhetorical, and he doesn’t answer for fear of interrupting whatever Jaemin felt like he needed to get off his chest.

“We’ve been here, practicing away for three days on these ridiculous pieces. We go home and then what? School starts, we get thrown back into the heat of things, and--”

With his voice raising higher and higher, Jaemin stops to collect himself, his body trembling slightly. 

“And we just move on with our lives after this? People like the concertmaster step up and improve but what about people like me?” He whispers.

Jeno doesn’t know what to do. He sits frozen; his arms are itching to wrap themselves around his friend, but his brain is too scared to send out a message to do it. 

“But you are good. And you’ll have basketball and your parents will always support you, right?” He ends up saying instead. He winces--it sounds weak, which definitely wasn't the tone he was going for. “As will Jisung, Donghyuck, and Mark.” _And me_ , Jeno wants to say, but is too cowardly to let his words flow through.

Instead of being met with a mouth full of smiles, Jeno gets only silence from the other. Jaemin tenses a little before heaving out a sigh.

“Jeno, will you walk down to the lake with me?”

It’s almost ten o’clock at night, and the lake is a fifteen minute walk. But Jeno is a weak, weak man, especially when it comes to Jaemin Na. Before he knows it, Jeno’s up and, with Jaemin by his side, his feet take him down a familiar winding road.

♪♪♪

“What’s going on?” 

They’re back at the lake, and Jeno sits next to Jaemin on the brittle sand. Jaemin seems more relaxed now that they’re away from their peers. He sits back, resting his weight on the heels of his hand as he looks beyond the horizon. Jeno sits patiently beside him, waiting until Jaemin feels the most comfortable.

“My parents have always had these high standards for me.” Jaemin starts. “I had to be the best in everything, from grades to any extracurriculars outside of school. While I was never exactly terrible at anything, I didn’t really excel either. I picked up playing the drums as a joke first, but I soon realized I was pretty good at it. I started to spend more time with it, but my parents thought it was a waste of my time.”

“So I thought, ‘Why don’t I join this youth symphony? Mark’s in it, and they adore Mark. Maybe my parents will see me in a better light if I join too.’” Jaemin presses his lips together in a tight, grim line, “And maybe they would have if I had a more...important role.”

Jeno’s face scrunches in confusion while Jaemin sadly lifts his head up to meet his gaze.

“I love playing the drums, but my parents didn’t think it would be very helpful. Despite that though, they still let me help out at school. When they heard I wanted to join this youth symphony though…” Jaemin shrugs, a bit defeated. “I almost couldn’t join, but I managed to convince them to let me try. I’m so glad that they did, because then I wouldn’t have had such a great time with you all but sometimes…”

“Sometimes I think about how I’m not enough,” Jaemin finishes quietly. Jeno furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head at how wrong he thought Jaemin’s last sentence was.

“Thanks for listening to me,” Jaemin smiles, his voice soft.

Jeno sits stiff for a few seconds. When it came to new or unknown things, he simply played on the safe side. Ignoring the issue and waiting for it to either disappear or fix itself was something that Jeno was very good at.

However, with Jaemin, he felt like he wanted to try. He wanted to branch out and maybe even make a fool out of himself. What had Wendy said the second day? Something about trying something new and having great results?

 _Ah, fuck it_ , Jeno thinks, and quietly says, “Don’t say that.”

Jaemin looks over curiously at Jeno’s quiet outburst.

“We literally couldn’t have done this without you,” he continues. “Percussion is the backbone of our symphony, and I truly think that we’d fall apart without you. And,” Jeno sucks in a breath. Here goes nothing. “Being with you for the past few days has made me realize just how amazing you are.”

Jeno’s face burns bright red, and he refuses to meet Jaemin’s eyes in fear of his reaction. He continues, “You shine. In every way possible, and in any situation. You could be eating some soup from the dining hall, and you would still be glowing. Earlier today, when you asked me what was wrong during rehearsal--I couldn’t concentrate because I just couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing you are.”

“So please,” Jeno finally lifts his head to meet Jaemin’s gaze dead-on. “Don’t ever say you’re not enough.” 

Jaemin is silent for a few moments before he chuckles wetly.

“I guess it’s safe to say you like me too?”

Jeno’s mind stops. Literally--everything around him fades away, and he hears nothing but white noise. _Is this real?_ Jeno asks himself, and he thinks he might be in heaven from the way Jaemin giggles at his dumbfounded expression.

“I--yeah,” he manages to stammer out. “I really do. You’re not alone, and you never will be.”

Walking back to their dorms, Jeno sneaks his hand over to hold Jaemin’s. His whole body vibrates with warmth as Jaemin laces their fingers together, their palms fitting perfectly against each other.

He doesn’t ever want to let go.

“Hey,” Jaemin whispers, “I’ll race you back to the building.”

Jeno looks over at Jaemin, a competitive glint still visible in his eyes even during the night. 

“You’re on.” Jeno replies back, and takes off immediately. Knowing Jaemin is running by his side, he doesn’t look back once.

**Author's Note:**

> orchestra au for jaemin’s birthday because this is me manifesting a possibility of getting a video of dream trying these exact instruments (lol jokes :p)
> 
> but anyway, thank you for reading!! i hope the big ball of love and happiness that is jaemin had the best time on his birthday :))
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/purenjunnn)


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